The delights of communal
• Charms communal
No one in a communal apartment is not trying to others, as a rule. Nobody wants to make life easier for others even to a small degree. Only shouts, bile and bickering. In the commune, which will be discussed, people just did not want to even a tiny form make life easier for others.
I was there just spent the night, and it was enough to me. I will not talk about the front door with an incredible amount of calls. I could write a poem only of signatures to these calls - among the signatures were to finish manually indecent expressions, one in verse, too obscene, and devoted woman.
very long corridor, littered-laden growing into the floor the old cabinets, some chairs, on the walls hang bikes, digesting, components and bales. When you walk down the unlit corridor to the far end, there to meet their physiological needs in a single forty-five people living toilet, all these bikes and cupboards strive to grab you by the most secret places and a painful hit.
Next to the toilet visitor eyes opened luxury exhibition samples of toilet seats beginning of the end of the heyday of the era of stagnation, hanging on nails driven into the wall, and from a distance similar to the horse collars. On each seat black paint were written the names of the horses, who wore that particular clip: Petrova, Diamantidis, antennal. There were Ivanovo-Ivanovo-1 and 2. All this is immediately reflected in the statistics the country of victorious socialism itself: then another two Ivanovs accounted for at least one Diamantidis and a maximum of a small mustache. One seat stands out from all, "Lida" was written on it. Interesting. Well, not lipstick, mechanically, I thought then.
I am struck by two things from what he saw there. The first - the wife of my friend, who worked in the Soviet time underground and, as they say in one southern town, becoming head hurt, had to shift the butter out of the package with the words "Butter" in a piece of paper out of the margarine. To neighbors snitched on them wherever necessary. Misha, her husband, was sore and she told him everything fried in butter. But bring a pack of butter on a shared kitchen and in front of forty vultures fry an egg, she could not on it - someone will be tapped in the Anti-Corruption Squad. And it shifts the oil to another piece of paper.
I wrote and thought that this language does not understand today's twenty-year. And thank God, to be honest.
I can not yet describe the shouting at the communal galley, there are no words. Ay, there were cries for! What energy was in the air! Even silent gaze any of housewives easily burns metal sheet 8 millimeters thick.
And second, I remember. Each of the sixteen families living there had a corridor light bulb above his door. Anyone could turn it on and illuminate your way around the corridor. But then the rest of the competition will also see the entire corridor, and this, of course, runs counter to the communal psyche. By the way, do not you think that the word "corridor" and the word "corrida" somehow interrelated? There are thundering battles ...
Now imagine the scene: the morning from half past six to seven hours. Almost everyone stood up to go to work. At night, no one goes to the toilet, because how far, and in general is not accepted. All shitting at night vases, which are more like enameled pots and conventional zinc bucket with wooden covers. But in the morning all fifty residents just go to the toilet only to them, vases, empty with their bubbles.
If any of them turn on the light (a light) on the corridor, there will be a light to all, as I said. But - like this? I turned on the light, and then it will be visible to all? You laugh? Right now, they fled. The case. No one, no one does not include all go into the dark. But served at the same time quite loud sounds, to avoid a collision:
- I'm coming! I go! I am! I am! - one arm each occupied by a bucket or pot, and the second lightly touches the usual protruding angles.
I would really like to say that it demonstrates this pattern, but, to my shame, I do not know yet. It's amazing how bizarre, and even perverted forms takes our ego. Sewage spill danger-sewage by the "straight out" was for these people lower in rank possible light the way for themselves and for all, including one single light bulb hanging above each door.