15 golden rules of parenting by Julia Gippenreiter
• 15 golden rules of parenting by Julia Gippenreiter
Yuliya Gippenreyter in his numerous books on psychology ( "Dealing with the baby. How?" The most important book for parents and others) drew the attention of parents to how they interact with their children and how to talk to them.
We have chosen the most important, in our opinion, the statements by the psychologist of the behavior of children and parents, so that we can understand each other better.
Of course, to take the child - it means to love him not for what he was handsome, smart, capable, successful, aide and so on, and just like that, just for what it is!
Do not interfere in the matter, which is occupied by a child if he does not ask for help. His laissez-faire you will tell him: "Are you all right! You, of course, to the right! "
If a child is difficult and it is ready to accept your help, be sure to help him. At the same time, take on only what he can not do alone, leave the rest to him to do. As the development of the child new activities gradually transfer them to him.
Tomorrow, the child will make himself what he did today with my mom, and it is due to the fact that it was "with my mother." Interior Zone "together" - is the gold reserve of the child, its potential for the future. Gradually, but steadily remove with care and responsibility for the personal affairs of your child and give them to him.
Personality and abilities of the child develops only to the activity he is engaged on their own and with interest.
There are no situations where the child can be hit. Yes, we know that Pushkin tore his children, but then it was considered the norm.
You can express their dissatisfaction with the actions of the individual child, but the child as a whole. You can blame the child's actions, but not his feelings, no matter how undesirable or impermissible they were. Dissatisfaction with the actions of the child should not be systematic, otherwise it will turn into a rejection of it.
Hug the baby several times a day, 4 each embrace are essential just for survival, but for the well-being needs at least 8 hugs a day! And, by the way, not only the child but an adult.
Come up with a few sessions with a child or several family affairs, a tradition that will create joy zone. Make some of these activities or regular cases, the child was waiting for them and know that they will come necessarily, unless he does something very bad. Cancel them only if there was a really tangible offense. The best punishment for a child - to deprive him of good and not make it worse.
Children much more than us, adults, need to move, to explore things, to try their hand. To prohibit such acts - like trying to block the deep river. Better make sure to send it in for a comfortable and safe track.
Children not only need the order and rules of behavior, and they want to wait for them! This makes them understandable and predictable life, creates a sense of security.
Baby warm when they understand its needs. One of the most important - freedom to explore the world and get impressions. The child explores the opportunities - and quietly raises the bar. When he was little, he wanted to climb a tree taller, growing up - to escape with your friends in a neighboring yard, becoming even older - to return home later than usual. It's very much depends on the behavior of the parents. Notation and prohibitions are powerless.
All that we wish to change in children should be particularly careful to check: is not this the fact that it would be better to change in ourselves. For example, our enthusiasm for teaching. Probably, it is better to direct themselves.