How to make children happier
Childhood - is the most unusual, amazing and incredible time in our lives. opening time, games, Wonderland and constant admiration of the world, that child learns every day and every hour.
And here is for parents during this period to be a time of anxiety in an effort to ensure the health and happiness of the child. Of course, our life there are circumstances that can cloud our childhood, but always stands above all for those who really loves children, happiness and well-being of their own children. In this article, we describe the scientific approach to the happiness of children. We offer you 10 recommendations, proven scientifically to help make your child's childhood healthier and happier still. So…
1. Allocate more time to play.
The main concern of the child, at least, it is a must - it is to play. Yes, sooner or later study appears in the life of any child, homework and any additional sessions, but so far this has not happened, while they are still quite small - let them play their hearts' content, they should not be specifically limited to "Children learn the most important life lessons. from other children, but not adults ... from adult they many or can not learn, or do so with much less likely, "- says Peter Gray, professor of child psychology at Boston college. So often allow kids to go outside and play with other children.
2. Do not quarrel and do not make a scene in front of the children.
In early childhood, children's brains develop incredibly fast and collects information. And when they see the "adult" problems and hear their discussion in a raised voice, it could have a negative impact on their fragile psychological state, forcing the experience the excitement and insecurity. Children do not have to hear adults arguing and swearing - so try not to do it in their presence.
3. Do not compare them with others.
One of the main aspirations of modern society - to be successful, and the pressure of the society often pushes us to attempt to awaken this desire and in our children. And as early as possible. Justified the attempt or not is debatable, but we can say one thing - do not do it by comparing them with other children, who allegedly "better" than them. If parents start to show "positive" features in other children, hoping that they will seek their crumb take over, the result may not be as successful as they hope, and even reversed. Researchers believe that when a child constantly with someone compared it negatively affects the self-esteem and self-confidence.
4. Tell them about the benefits of negative emotions.
Let's start with the obvious - the children behave like a child, and from them we should not expect an adult restraint. Almost every child are spontaneous outbursts of anger, jealousy, sadness and so on. However, not all that bad - this behavior often provides excellent opportunities for adults. Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington said the negative reaction to an ordinary adult "bad behavior" of the child - a sentence in one form or another. As he writes in his articles, where it is better to make it clear to the child that the negative emotions experienced by all, and that there is nothing strange about it. Thus it is necessary to teach the kid how to constructively deal with such emotions and their effects.
5. The notice their efforts and achievements.
Sooner or later the child reaches the age in which we all understand: to achieve something, you need to work hard. That is why it is so important to be able to notice when a child is very staraetsyaetogo "something" to achieve. "We advise parents to closely monitor the processes that are involved in your child, and to notice what he was doing. This will help you to praise him for his efforts and concrete achievements, not getting away with platitudes: "you're so smart and you have so well everything works." Believe me, this will have a far more beneficial effect on its development, "- he writes in his articles about the cognitive problems during adulthood Dr. Carol DUEK from Stanford University.
6. Appreciate the family tradition.
When there is a common hobby, occupation, or rituals, it is usually a good indication of a stable and healthy family. But stability has always been an important aspect of growing up. According to specialists, working at the Institute of Child Development, the total time spent by family members, gives children the five main advantages: - the child feels important and loved - he oversees the positive examples of the behavior of adults - adults have time to watch the behavior of children and learn more about their strengths and weaknesses; - the child can express his thoughts and feelings, which helps to strengthen the bond between parents and children.
7. Allow them to take risks.
Nobody argues with the fact that the children need some care, but it does not mean that adults should watch every breath and sneezing baby. Overprotection not make the child a better life, but also can have a negative impact on its development. In an article published in the Journal of school psychologists and counselors, researchers wrote as follows: "Do not make excessive parental custody of their own children, and too much attention to their needs and problems, to adjust their requirements to them? As a result, children are rarely faced with difficult situations, they practically do not learn to cope with them, do not get the ability to overcome difficulties, to learn from mistakes, and other skills that can be useful in adult life? The results of our recent studies lead us to suggest that the most likely answer to this question - "yes."
8. Encourage them to develop a sense of personal responsibility.
And, once in the previous paragraph, we were talking about the excessive care, it is important to allow children to do what is in their area of responsibility - be it cleaning or housework. It is not necessary to control their every move, but only to check the result. Why? Child psychologists believe that excessive oversee every action baby may develop in him the belief that he can not do anything by himself. Yes, to develop in children a sense of responsibility and ability to answer for their actions they need to pay attention to, encourage, and even from time to time to punish, but this is best done in response to the result of their actions. Believe me, the constant supervision does not lead to anything good.
9. Create happy memories.
The results of a pilot study conducted by two professors from Harvard, there was a theory that adults who had a lot of good memories of his childhood, looked and felt much happier and more completely than those that could not boast. Also, the researchers noted that participants in the experiment with happy memories of childhood where willing to help with additional questions and tasks more strictly condemned unethical behavior and more donated to charity. So, by creating for our children happy memories, we may well teach them to be happy and supportive adults.
10. Be happy for yourself!
Children, like a sponge, absorb everything they see and hear - both good and bad. And if the adults around the child will smile more often, it is likely he will try to imitate them in this.